Lauren Daigle - Trust In You (Lyric Video)

This is such a fantastic song, I can hardly sing it without crying! I have copied it down and am learning how to play it on the guitar but here are the lyrics in case you couldn't see them properly in the video I've copied to this post.



TRUST IN YOU       By Lauren Daigle

Letting go of every single dream, I lay each one down at your feet. Every moment of my wandering,

Never changes what you see.

I've tried to win this war, I confess. My hands are weary, I need your rest.

Mighty Warrior, King of the fight, no matter what I face you're by my side.



When you don't move the mountains, I'm needing you to move.

When you don't part the waters, I wish I could walk through.

When you don't give the answers as I cry out to you.

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You.



Truth is you know what tomorrow brings. There's not a day ahead you have not seen.

So in all things be my life and breath. I want what you want Lord and nothing less.



You are my strength and comfort, you are my steady hand.

You are my firm foundation, the Rock on which I stand.

Your ways are always higher, your plans are always good.

There's not a place where I'll go you've not already stood.

I love it when it clicks!

Our Family Devotions this year

I love to see things click for my kids! This devotional is just one of the zillion ways God went before us this year and prepared the way for what we'd experience as a family. We chose this devotional to do with the kids before bed because we loved the adult version. Later we found out that each of the 365 devotionals focus on comfort and perseverance. It seems like every night the words (and God's Word) are spoken just for us.

A few nights ago we were reading part of the story of Job and suddenly we witnessed a light bulb moment for our oldest. He excitedly exclaimed, "Mom! God is doing for us exactly what He did for Job! After his time of testing and suffering God blessed Job and gave him even more than he had in the beginning." Sure enough, we each started sharing different ways we've seen God provide over and above for us. Their examples were things like:

1. In Melut we just had a small bucket of legos; now we have a whole trunk! (Given and shared from others).

2. The boys had bikes in Melut but they were getting old, falling apart and the boys were growing out of them. They each have a new bike here in Kenya that we've bought from friends.

3. Our apartment is starting to feel crowded because we are accumulating household things from other missionary families - tools, dishes, linens, and school books. I have been so amazed how even people I barely know are bending over backwards to help us gather everything we need for this next school year.

There are many other examples in our home of how God is blessing us beyond what we could have thought possible. Though it's been more than a month now since we were evacuated and lost everything in our South Sudan home, friends and even people we've never met before, continue to share their own things with us. This has been such an encouragement to our faith but even more exciting for me, great moments of learning, growing, and faith-building for our boys. I'm so thankful they're at an age that they are seeing God work and I pray these lessons will stick with them and they will look back and remember them for the rest of their lives!

Refreshed & Renewed

Last week we went to the Kenyan coast to meet up with Eli's younger brother and his family. After a full and chaotic 6 weeks in Melut, followed by a very sad evacuation and Eli's survey trip back into Melut, we needed some time away. We didn't even take our computer and we shut our phones off. It was just what we needed to spend time with family and relax and play on the beach.

The group

We returned to Nairobi on Sunday evening, refreshed and ready for this next month ahead. Due to needs in our admin/leadership for the SIM South Sudan team, we will continue helping out in the office here in Nairobi through July. During this time we are investigating our options for future ministry, praying, seeking advice, and slowly accumulating/replacing our household things that we lost from our home in Melut.

Sights from Melut

Behind our teammates' house

 Many of you have asked what Eli found when he returned to Melut earlier this month. Basically the first thing Eli realized was that stuff was everywhere. Several groups of looters came through our campus and it appeared that they took trunks, boxes, drawers, shelves and just turned them upside down, took what they wanted, and left the rest spread everywhere.



Our kitchen

Our bedroom

 Most of the papers were left behind. Here in our bedroom most of the papers were school papers of the boys' and Sunday school teaching materials. Such a sad waste! But Eli was able to salvage what he could, repack it, and lock it up in the school building. Hopefully it won't be looted again.

The Kids' Room

 In addition to their toys, clothes and school books, we had several other families' belongings stored in the boy's room. This was all ransacked and left like this.

The college library

 Thankfully the desks were all left in the classroom and the majority of the books were left on their shelves in the library. Again, Eli picked up and re-packed what he could.

Student housing - the roof was burned off

A bullet that went right through our front door!

Yes, these pictures are sad and even infuriating to see! But I look at this picture of the bullet hole in our door and I praise the Lord with all of my heart that He rescued our family from here before the rebels came.

A healing balm for our hearts - a visit with Melut friends!

My friend Atong with baby Elizabeth

 This beautiful friend of mine, Rachel (Atong) has been my closest friend from Melut since 2012. We have been through so many hard things together - grieving the loss of her baby born in 2013, followed by the loss of her mother only months later. We have shared our hearts like I never imagined I could with a friend from such a different culture as my own. Atong is a woman with a very strong faith and a beautiful heart. When the fighting returned to South Sudan at the end of 2013, after a very very difficult year for her family, Atong moved to Nairobi, Kenya with her 7 younger siblings. She put all her brothers and sisters into school and pressed on in a very new country.

Now almost two years later the Lord has blessed her with a beautiful daughter she named Elizabeth after Atong's mother. Her Dinka name is Achol, which means "replacement" because Atong lost 2 babies before little Elizabeth. Elizabeth is a miracle baby herself. She was born with spina bifida and had to have two major surgeries at a very young age. She is now a thriving, healthy 4-month old baby girl! God is amazing!

Baby Elizabeth

We all think Elizabeth looks like her aunt, Rejoice

Another of Atong's sisters, Akuot

We shared a beautiful day together, eating and drinking Sudanese coffee and catching up on the last year and a half since we've seen each other. I had a bunch of pictures and videos on my camera from our last weeks in Melut so I shared those with them. It was neat to see them recognize friends in the pictures and I think it was very meaningful for all of us to look through those memories together.

With my sweet Sudanese sisters, Apach on the far left and Atong

With little Elizabeth

I had some fun picking out little gifts for baby Elizabeth since this was my first time to meet her. Here she is sporting her new sweater that I bought for her.

Apach with their live doll

Auntie Claire snuggles Elizabeth

Eli figured Elizabeth needed some "Baba" time since her daddy lives far away in America.

I am so so thankful that the Lord gives us these special gifts of reconnecting with our beloved friends from South Sudan. It is these beautiful friendships that keeps us in this war torn country. Our hearts will forever be in South Sudan and will belong to these amazing people!

Eli is back!

     Eli arrived back in Nairobi safe and sound yesterday afternoon. The boys and I were waiting to hug and welcome him "home". We are so so happy and relieved to have him home. (My mouth is full of mouth sores which only happens when I'm under a lot of stress.) But now we can all relax, knowing he is safe and well.
    We did have a very difficult time as a team last night after the kids were in bed. Claire came to our apartment and Eli shared all the news and showed 188 photos he'd taken from all over the campus. They are heart breaking photos and yet healing in a way too. I will share more in the coming days and weeks. We need time to debrief together and will be going to professionals today for that. Next week we are getting away as a family for the whole week. It was not easy to be separated this past 10 days.
    Thank you so much for praying for Eli during his journey and for the kids and I while we held the fort down here in Kenya. We will continue to appreciate your prayers.

Seeing Melut with his own eyes

Saturday, June 6, was Eli's birthday. But the way he spent his 34th birthday turns my stomach. He finally found a ride from Paloich (where he flew into the previous Thursday) to Melut. The scene that welcomed him when he arrived is hard for me to picture but probably something Eli won't forget anytime soon. Our campus had been looted and Eli said it looked like the looters had pulled everything outside, dumped it upside down, took what they wanted, and left the rest strewn across the campus. After investigating the entire campus. Eli and the Principal of Gideon Theological College decided that they would return on Monday and pack up what was left and store it in the school library. There is always a sliver of hope that GTC will open again someday and we might as well salvage what we can.
   The encouraging thing for Eli and Principal Kur is that the buildings are all in tact. They are just empty. It will take a lot of resources and PEACE in order to get the college back up and running and we are praying about what is next for the school.
   Today Eli will fly from Paloich, where he's been staying with friends of a friend, to Juba, the capital city of South Sudan. And tomorrow he will fly the rest of the way to us here in Nairobi, Kenya. The boys and I will be waiting anxiously at the airport to hug that man again! It has been a difficult week, being separated, while he experiences such difficult sights and experiences. Please pray for Eli as he returns, that he will be able to process  and deal with the grief and sorrow of what has happened to our town, our beloved friends, and our ministry - Gideon Theological College. It is a lot of loss!
     I was so amazed at God's loving timing this weekend. While Eli was in South Sudan, my best friend from high school, Emily Greene, flew from her home in Uganda, to spend 3 nights. She was with me when I got the phone call from Eli with all the bad news from Melut. She has been a comfort, a shoulder to cry on, a friend to process with, and loving ear to listen. I truly don't know how I would have gotten through this weekend without her!
    God is good - that truth never changes! Even in these difficult circumstances we are amazed at God's power and how He works. We fix our eyes on Him and don't lose hope.

Remember Every Road

I have been reading Deuteronomy 8 this morning. There is so much about the Israelites that reminds me of myself. Reading this chapter in The Message paraphrase gave fresh meaning. Allow me to share the tidbits I pulled out:
    "Remember every road that God led you on, pushing you to your limits, testing you so that He would know what you're made of (prove your character). He put you through hard times. He made you go hungry, then He fed you with manna - so that you would learn you can't depend on yourself. He wants to provide for you."
    I've always pondered all the tests God gave His people as they wandered. He wanted to see if they'd believe He would take care of them. All through the Old Testament, Abraham, Noah, Moses, Joshua, they were all pushed to have faith and step out into the great abyss trusting that God had led them that far and He would not leave them now. He would be faithful. He would fight the battle. He would provide. He would be victorious.
    In Deut. 8, Moses challenged the people to REMEMBER. Remember every road, even the roads in the wilderness. God made them go hungry so that He could be the one to feed them. I have been thinking about this. Losing our home, belongings, dreams and hopes for our ministry and losing track of our friends, has definitely focused our eyes on the Lord more than ever. We choose not to look anywhere else, but to Him. In the void, we wait, we expect, and we hope. And so far God has provided in such miraculous and unbelievable ways that all we can do is recognize it is from HIM. I wonder if God gives generously, over and above what we expect, so that the glory cannot go to anyone but Him.
    Verse 6 continues: so... "it's paramount you keep obeying - walk down the roads He shows you and reverently respect Him." In light of all this. In all the tests and struggles and in His provision, it is of utmost importance that we keep obeying and honor God above everything else. Keep moving forward.
    A few verses later comes a promise, a comfort: "God is about to bring you into a good land." From here God will take us somewhere good. But in the goodness and satisfaction of it all, make sure you don't forget God. Make sure you don't become so full of yourself and your things that you forget God - the God who has brought you through so much.
    This has caused me to reflect on our 40 days in Melut. I hope we hadn't become carried away with all the ministry opportunities and taken anything for granted. I know we recognized it as all coming from the Lord. We knew He had brought us to Melut for that time. We knew He was granting us strength and power to serve Him.
     The warning Moses closes with in this chapter is that if we forget God, it will lead to our doom and destruction. This leads me to pray:
     "Lord, help us keep obeying, following you where you lead. Help us to see you in every provision and step. Help us not to forget where all good things come from. You are King. You are the one and only God. We humbly surrender and bow."

It's All God's Anyway!

Friends and college students praying and dedicating our house in Melut to God

 In 2013 when we finished building our home on the Nile River on Gideon Theological College campus, the college community gathered together, ate a few goats and dedicated our house and 2 other homes to the Lord. We knew they were not ours - they were God's. And they still are. This is something I had to remind myself at the end of 2013 when war broke out all over Southern Sudan. And it's something I'm reminding myself of yet again. I can't understand why, even though I know everything in this world is temporary - why do I hold so tightly to some things in this world?

Hosting friends on our porch

 Since this house was built in 2013, I believe God has indeed used it for His purposes. In 2014 while we were on home assignment in the States, our teammates lived in it and continued to use its walls for ministering to others. At least 12 different nationalities (probably many more!) have sat in our plastic chairs and enjoyed a cold drink.

  So today, while I grieve a little more, (because I really loved that house), I am thankful for that special house on the Nile River and the months our family made memories within its walls. And I pray that somehow, despite the terrible injustice that came to Melut just 2 weeks ago, God will continue to use that house for His plans.

An Afternoon of Reunions

We had a little crowd of children following us as we walked out to the camps

 I want to tell you about a special day that happened 10 days ago. Our family and teammate were flown from our base in Melut to another SIM base in an area called Mabaan County because of the fighting in our town. Mabaan County is where 135,000 refugees and 23,000 internally displaced people live. Ever since we left Yabus in Blue Nile State in 2010, we have wanted to re-connect with many friends who live in these refugee camps. God gave us a special opportunity during our short stay in Mabaan County to go out and find them in the camps.

Having tea

Reunited with their best friend German.

With my friend Martha

 Yuna and Martha were some of our first friends in South Sudan. They were our neighbors in Yabus and then they came to study at Gideon Theological College in Melut for two years. We have been so thankful for our friendship with them through many different changes. On this day we got to visit them in their new home built in the refugee camp by their church family.

Joshua and little Isaac

You might remember that our friends Yuna and Martha named their youngest son Isaac after our Isaac. He was born in Melut and Bethany was the first person to hold him. It was so fun to see how much he'd grown.

With Yuna and Martha's family

Everywhere we walked children followed. They rarely or never have seen kwadja (white) children. At this point in our walk, Joshua had stopped to shake a little boy's hand and soon everyone wanted to shake his hand too!

With other friends who lived in Melut at Gideon Theological College with us
We hadn't seen them since 2013. 

Eli and the men enjoyed tea inside the hut

Bethany with some of the ladies

 The woman to the left of me in this picture is Miriam. She and her husband graduated from Gideon Theological College in Melut in 2013. I have always had a special admiration and respect for this young lady. It warmed my heart to see her place of ministry among her people in the camps and to see that same sweet smile. (They don't smile in photos unfortunately.)

The boys were happy to find their buddy Samuel

Yuna, Eli and Yoel

Both of these men have been special friends so it meant a lot to Eli to spend a few hours catching up and praying with them.  It was so encouraging to see and hear how God is using these men, graduates of the Bible college in Melut, to teach and disciple believers and preach the gospel to other tribes who haven't heard about Jesus before.

Although we were very heartbroken by what was happening in our beloved town of Melut and sad that we had to leave South Sudan the next day, God gave us this very meaningful afternoon reuniting and mutually encouraging each other, to provide good closure for us.

Accepting it...with Joy

    As you all know, we had to leave our cozy home on the Nile River, about a week ago due to fighting that arrived in our town. It has been quite the week of moving from Melut to another SIM base and then from that base back to Nairobi, Kenya. Just a few days after arriving in NBI, I (Bethany) came down with a horrible stomach bug that thankfully only kept me in bed for one full day but it has now passed to Isaac and Eli. So amidst the processing and grieving, our bodies are a bit weak as well. Maybe God knew we needed something to keep us at home, taking it easy for now.
    Yesterday was the one week mark since we had to flee Melut and our dear teammate Claire, came down to visit for a bit. She shared a wonderful passage from Hebrews 10 that I want to share this morning. I got up before the rest of the family this morning (which is my usual routine) and poured over these verses, feeling fountains of new peace and yes, joy, flood into my saddened, heavy heart. I have read it in multiple versions but I will start out with the version I use, the New Living Translation:
    "You suffered along with those who were thrown into jail, and when all you owned was taken away from you, you accepted it with joy." The Amplified version says, "you bore cheerfully the plundering of your belongings and the confiscation of your property"
    Wait a minute, what?!!! I need to bear this cheerfully? If I stopped there in these verses I wouldn't understand how I could possibly accept this with joy. But again in the Amplified Version, the verse goes on to say that we bear this cheerfully "in the knowledge and consciousness that you yourselves had a better and lasting possession. Do not therefore fling away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward."
    And now it's sinking in...slowly. Yes, we do have a better and lasting possession. What was looted and confiscated was just stuff. It doesn't have eternal value and it's not going to heaven with us. Yes, it does have sentimental value and we LOVED making our home among the people of Melut town, but the Lord offers us soooo much more and with lasting value!!! Therefore, we can't give up. We can't "fling away our fearless confidence" (trust/faith). And this passage keeps getting better. Verse 36 wraps it all up with: "For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God and thus receive [and enjoy to the full] what is promised."
    So this is my prayer - for steadfast patience and endurance to do the will of God. It is tempting to think we weren't able to accomplish His will in Melut because we had to leave prematurely. But Eli and I believe that God sent us there for those 40 days of living in community, encouraging, and offering hope to our friends in Melut. For some reason He wanted us there, along with Claire, for that specific amount of time and He has more in store ahead of us.
    The lesson I'm asking God to teach us this week is to accept what has happened with joy. This will only happen by His Spirit. And you know what? It's already happening! My sister called me this morning, unaware of what I was blogging at that exact moment when she called. And you know what she encouraged me with? She shared how she has seen (rather heard) us maintain joy through this whole difficult ordeal. Even from across the ocean she testified that we are accepting this with joy and moving forward. I told her I can't take any credit. "That Sis, is the waterfall of grace that our Loving Heavenly Father has been showering over us during this time!" I know there might be dark days ahead but I'm clinging to these incredible verses penned more than a thousand years ago!

Only 1 Week Ago!

The boys all dressed for church standing by the river

The outside of our church in Melut

Last Sunday, May 17, Melut SIC Church was packed full!

 Just last Sunday the youth and elders from a church in Paloich, a one-hour drive from Melut, came to spend the weekend with the youth and church family in Melut. Gideon Theological College hosted the visitors in some houses on campus but the church cooked and hosted. Sunday morning was a very special (and long) service with the Melut Choir (pictured on the left in blue) and the Paloich Choir (in peach on the right). They sang and worshipped. There was dancing, ululating, and even tears shed as we thanked God for being God.

As the choirs sang, the people of the church joined in and came forward with dancing and celebration.

Isaac and his friend Manchol

I even got to hold a baby for a while and got him to fall asleep!

The boys were a little squeezed and hot but they did amazing for a 4 1/2 hour church service!

When the service was over around 1:30, we headed home for a quick lunch and then a Sunday afternoon rest. But I  heard that the women were still fellowshipping together on campus, eating and drinking tea and coffee, so I headed back over to join in. Once we'd had our fill, the youth and women headed back over to the church for more singing and dancing. I forgot my camera this time but it wouldn't have mattered because I was too busy joining in!

It was such a precious time of praising the Lord together, forgetting for a while, the growing tensions in our state and the instability in our hearts. We forgot that we were different colors and different cultures. We just sang and focused on one thing: Jesus.

And that, my friends, is my last good memory of Melut. By Monday we had to arrange a plane to take us out of Melut and in the middle of the night on Monday night we were woken by a friend telling us that Security in town was telling everyone to pack up and get out of Melut because the rebels were coming.

I look back at these pictures now and at each face, those I know personally and those I don't, and I wonder where each of them is now. Where did they run to? Were they separated from their family? Where are they getting food and water? And most of all, what will they do now?

The phrase that seems to keep coming up today is: Let Go and Let God.
I still have so many questions and emotions I haven't sorted through yet but I know I can trust God. I know that He reigns.

We are OK

The boys playing Uno in the UN bunker in Melut

Dear Friends,
    We are sorry for the delay in the letting you all know that we are safe and OK. We know that many of you have already heard that Melut, our little town on the Nile River in South Sudan, was attacked by rebel troops this last Tuesday, May 19th. We are so thankful to the Lord for preserving and protecting our family and teammate, Claire. Our children never heard a single gunshot or saw anything traumatic. In fact, I feel like the above photo is kind of bizarre since they were sitting in the bunker at the UN but all smiles as they played Uno, unaware of the danger coming closer.
    We were evacuated to Doro, one of SIM's other bases in South Sudan, and then yesterday, May 21, we flew to Nairobi, Kenya. This is a good place to recuperate and process this last week's events and pray about what is next for our family. There are a lot of emotions to deal with especially as we continue to contact friends who had to run for their lives and as we hear reports like we did today -  of Melut town being burned and our college campus being looted.
     I have a lot to share, even about the precious days leading up to our hasty departure but that will come in time. We have agreed with our teammate Claire that we believe the Lord sent us to Melut for those 6 weeks, to share hope and love with His people there.

Sometimes I pause and think, "This is my life?!!!"

Our mode of transportation unless we feel like walking

Honestly this life near the Nile is not all glamor and shine. Though I thank the Lord every day for the privilege to be here serving Him, you seriously have to be soooo flexible to survive the craziness. I am not really a very flexible person but am trying to be more so. Anyway, I wanted to share what it's like for me to go grocery shopping. Think of me the next time you go to Walmart or Publix. :)

Some of my friends who  have stalls at the market

 Once I get to the market which is only about a mile from our house, I have an order of where I go to get what I need. First I go to the butcher. I should have taken a picture but I was in the midst of the crazy crowd, pushing and hollering for the cut of meat I wanted. Seriously, when the freshly butchered cow arrives, there is a rush of women and children who have been sent to the market. They are all pushing and yelling at the butcher for the amount they want as they shove their money at him. I don't know how he keeps his cool. I've learned though that if I just stand patiently, Kamal (the butcher) will look at me and ask what I want. Usually I get 2 kilos of laham safi (meat without bones) but yesterday there wasn't enough meat to go around and I ended up giving up. They brought more meat about a half hour later, but again, there was such a scramble, I decided it wasn't worth it.

Next I go to the vegetable stalls. These days I can find potatoes, sweet potatoes, eggplant, cucumbers, and sometimes even oranges that come come from Egypt. There is also a lady who sells kudra (local greens) and okra which I always buy!

a view of the market

 Next I go to the little shops which we call dukans in Arabic. This is where I go for rice, sugar, flour, pasta, tomato paste, or juice powder. We've also really been enjoying dried dates.
Joshua had been begging me for fish. He just LOVES fish. We couldn't find any in the market (which was the whole reason he came with me to the market.) So I told him we'd try to go look along the river side later.

Sure enough, around 5, a boat came from a small village upriver called Thiangrial, carrying a canoe-load of fresh tilapia. The boys and I walked all the way down the river, almost a mile I think, and bought 5 nice tilapia. It wasn't until we got home that I realized I was the one who would have to gut and clean these fish before they became the fish tacos I was imagining in my mind.

It took about an hour to gut all five fish. I made a real mess of the first one, since it was my first time, but by the 4th and 5th I was a pro. We fried them up and had delicious fish tacos for dinner.

I do admit that many times as I'm climbing into bed and thinking back on the events of the day, my life almost feels like a dream. It's not always a happy dream, but most nights I fall asleep with a smile on my face because though our life really is very crazy, we truly are living out our dream. And we are thankful.