Intense but fruitful

Part 2: My heart for the women of this country

As I've been pondering what I can do to make some kind of impact/change in the lives of the women I live day to day with, STUDYING THE BIBLE together keeps coming to my mind. I know you might think, "Well duh Bethany!" But for this mama who already feels like life is pretty full with homeschooling and my relational ministry, planning Bible lessons and actually DOING this seems a little intimidating.
- What would we study?
- Where do I even start with young women who basically have no understanding of Scripture?
- How often would we meet?

The month of May was really intense as I've walked through some hard things with three women that I love. Looking back at my last blog I'm realizing that God was preparing me for this season of being in over my head. But just like one of my favorite songs, I was beautifully in over my head, needing to trust the Lord in every step.

First, one of my friends' challenges in her marriage came to a head to the point where she was running away from home to kill herself. Thankfully the Lord sent me to her house right at that moment and I was able to walk with her for a few hours, hear from her heart as she poured out her grief, and finally convince her to come stay with us for the night (by that time it was dark and raining!) That night turned into a week. She hadn't been eating or taking care of herself and it was my joy to serve her, prepare fun things for her to eat, encourage her with truth from God's word and prayed a ton with her. We prayed for her marriage, her unborn child, her future - everything! Eli and I also sat with her and her husband a few times during the week and our pastor came to meet with her as well. After a week with us she was ready to head home to her husband. It was incredible to see the transformation happen in her heart! She went from wanting an abortion and suicide to keeping both of those lives. Only God!

Only a few days later another young friend had some major struggles with demons for three days and let me tell you, I was way in over my head! But Jesus always gains the victory and now that friend is delivered and free.

These are both seemingly happy endings but let me tell you, their stories havent ended. In fact, I think they're just beginning. They will be on a long journey, as we all are.

A couple weeks ago, I thought the answer was to start a weekly or twice weekly Bible study with these women. But honestly I'm realizing it doesn't have to be something official as long as I'm being intentional preaching God's Word to them and praying with them every time something comes up that needs prayer. I get so fired up excited about this. It's been such a sweet and fulfilling season of ministry for me. For so many years that I've longed to serve Jesus, I've always thought that real ministry is something official like a class or a group that meets the same time every week. Silly me! That wasn't how Jesus did ministry most of the time, was it?

It's actually easier to jump all in when it's not something so formal. Being a friend is something I love to do and God has made me very extroverted so I love being with people. I'm realizing this is EXACTLY what He designed me for and it's been such a joy to walk in that calling and have a front row seat to God changing lives!

One of my sweet sisters I've walked through the valley with

My heart for the women of this country

Women waiting in line for food rations
*photo from Int'l Women's Media Foundation

Bear with me. This is a huge issue that I'm still wrestling with, researching, and learning more about every day. And even though I can hardly make heads or tails of this subject, I still feel the great need to share what's been burdening my heart ever since I started building friendships with the women in our neighborhood. It basically has to do with how hard life is for them and the incredible trials they experience. Many girls don't get to finish their primary education because their mothers need them at home and young women who desire further studies are often forced into marriage at a young age against their wishes. Since marriage is more casual here in the village context (a wedding ceremony and formal marriage are more unusual), it is very common for men to have multiple wives and children from each wife. The really hard part comes when a man decides he'd like a different wife - he leaves the previous wife, usually with children to provide for, and there isn't accountability put in place (mandatory child support) in order for the fathers to help pay for the children's food, medicines and school fees. These women are left to struggle to find some kind of income usually from selling food in the market.

     

Please hear me when I say I don't want to talk badly about the people who have so graciously accepted us to live in their country. I'm not sharing these details as an attack on government or anyone in particular but rather hoping that somehow we/I can do something to help women's voices be heard.

The thing that keeps swirling through my mind is that Jesus cared deeply for women and took time and action to show them they were loved. Genesis 1:27 says we are all made in God's image - men and women. Galatians 3:23-29 states that we are ALL heirs to the promise (to eternal life). There is no male or female. But in my neck of the woods here in our little corner of northern Uganda, women live solely to provide for their families and take responsibility for everything the man/head of the home should be responsible for. They toil, they sweat, they work harder than a lot of men I've seen. They spend hours in the darkness of night crying over the lack of money, or their child who can't go to school or the fact that she can't afford the medicine she needs.

In an article in the New Vision (Ugandan newspaper) titled "Challenges Women Faced in 2019", the author talked about the real threat women face in school and their workplaces. Some girls in school have been threatened by their male teachers that they will fail the class if they don't sleep with him. And women have lost jobs because they didn't give in to their boss's sexual advances. 25% or 1 out of 4 girls between the ages of 15-19 get pregnant and find themselves becoming mothers. 40% of widows experience actual or attempted property grabbing (when someone takes their land from them.)

All this to say, the injustice and the suffering I've heard in the stories my friends share and what I've read as I look into this issue have burdened me heavily and I don't know what to do. Is God asking me to get involved? Can I really make a change at all? How?

One of my closest friends was chased from her home with her children more than a year ago when her husband suddenly decided he didn't want her there anymore. For the first year he wouldn't even pay school fees for his children or send money when food was low in her home.

Another friend is a sharp, smart beautiful young 24 year old who had dreams of going to college. She started her own business, opening up a shop to sell chicken and chips and fresh fruit juices to save up for further education. She wasn't planning on getting married anytime soon, not to mention having children, even though many women her age already have both. And then one day her uncles came to her shop telling her she was going to marry a certain guy. They basically forced her to marry him, and now 6 months later she's pregnant and just found out it's twins! This sweet friend is trying to be thankful for this precious gift and yet this is not the future she had in mind.

One of my neighbors was beat up so badly by her land lord who insisted she hadn't paid rent. She had paid but had given it to his wife and his wife hadn't told him. She was battered and bruised for a few days and when she tried to go to the police, they didn't do anything. Our local chairman also didn't want to get involved because of who the man was.

Another mama I know has a 2 year old son who has some kind of inflammatory disease and suffers greatly when it flares up. Her husband has several other wives (polygamy is more common than monogamy here) and doesn't always respond when she calls him for help to get the child to hospital or when they're out of food in the house.

And on and on. I have a sad story for every woman I know. 

A few months ago a young 17 year old girl from our church approached Eli and I, asking if we'd sponsor her for school. She's had a scholarship carrying her through secondary school but she wants to go on to be a women's right lawyer. Law school is expensive but she wants it more than anything. She is a bright young lady at the top of her class so of course we said YES. We are so excited to see how God uses her to hopefully make a difference with some of these issues.

What else can I do at the moment? I believe God brought me here to love these ladies with a love that comes from Him. I listen to their hearts, pray with them, hug them and try to bring Jesus' light into their lives. In the less than 2 years we've been here, I've seen God do amazing things and change women's hearts from bitterness to peace, from stress to trust. 

O Lord please have mercy on these daughters of yours.