I forgot how hard this is

 I don't want to make you feel sorry for me. But I do want to be honest about how my journey as a missionary woman goes. We have now been back in Adjumani, our home town in Uganda, for almost a week. Our bags are unpacked, I have re-organized most of the house, and I even started home school up again with Carson this morning. On the outside I look like I'm back in the swing of things, like I've got this switching back and forth between cultures down.

But it's feeling really hard. 

A few years ago a missionary friend introduced me to the idea of heart lag. As we are recovering from jet lag, our hearts are often processing a lot too. Our last month in the States was so full, having all our kids home and lots of fun activities. Suddenly we were packing up our home in South Carolina and taking multiple flights to arrive in Uganda. We had to say some hard goodbyes, especially to our 2 college boys, and switch gears back to the way life goes on this side of the globe.

I've already shared how challenging our homecoming was. No power, no fridge or freezer, layers of dirt, spider webs and dead lizards. We've now gotten past that thanks to my dear Asunta (our house helper) and yet my heart still feels heavy. I always feel tired and just don't feel myself. This is all normal, I keep telling myself. I wish I could be more patient with myself and allow myself the time to adjust. My "world" in Columbia, South Carolina and my "world" in Adjumani, Uganda could not be more different so why do I wonder why I feel so out of whack?

I guess I'm sharing this because I want people to know these transitions aren't easy. There are indeed many joys about coming back to Uganda but the time in between before we find our normal again can be hard. And I'm saying, that's OK. I don't have to be at 100% right now. I can ease in slowly. I have no one but myself pushing me to get it together.