I can't believe it's been three months since I've written on our blog! But that is just a sign of how full life has been and I mean that in every beautiful way. In August we finally got to move into our home in South Carolina and two weeks later the three big boys started public school. It's quite a difference from what they're used to in Kenya but they've adjusted so well and we're really proud of how they've jumped all in - joining a soccer league, taking classes that aren't offered at Rift Valley Academy, attending youth group at our church, etc. They have grown a lot in these last few months - I think we all have.
We spent the month of September trying to develop some normalcy in our lives. The boys were in school, Eli continued with dissertation work, building projects at our home church here in Columbia, and touching base with his colleagues in Uganda who are keeping the ministry running.
Carson and I have been enjoying lots of play dates. I can't tell you how special it's been to reconnect with dear friends and for our kids to play together. It's been such a blessing. Carson is growing like a weed and constantly surprising us with how smart he is. He can remember Bible stories and re-tell them and his new favorite skill is riding a bicycle without training wheels!
We are still on target to head back to Uganda on Dec 31, just in time for the new year - 2022!
We have not been matched yet with another child so we're not sure if it's going to happen or not. We will wait for one more month to see what God has in store. We'd appreciate your prayers in our adoption journey because it's been a hard emotional road, especially for me. But we want God's best and are waiting to see what that is.
As always thank you for praying for our family and following us on our many adventures.
A week ago I was in my sister's church and the worship was beautiful but I wasn't ready for the first song we sang. I've copied the lyrics below:
Refiner by Maverick City Music
If the altar's where you meet us Take me there, take me there What you need is just an offering It's right here, my life is here And I'll be a living sacrifice for you
You're a fire The refiner I wanna be consumed
I wanna be tried by fire Purified You take whatever you desire Lord here's my life
There is more to the song but you get the gist. That one line stung "I wanna be tried by fire" and I reached over to hold onto my husband's arm. Neither of us could sing.
But I found myself holding on to every word of that song. My heart was straining. It wanted to sing it and mean it. I looked around at all the people singing it so normally as if it was no big deal to be TRIED BY FIRE. I mean, hello? Did anyone else realize what they were singing? What they were inviting God to do??
That was a week ago now and I'm still processing and unpacking that song and what God is trying to teach me in this season. Honestly, ever since our adoption fell through and I found myself on the opposite side of the world from three of my kids with no home to go home to, I have battled with anger, doubt, bitterness and a whole lot of confusion and disappointment.
Yes I still go to God's Word every day for hope and encouragement. Eli and I keep praying about all the things that weigh on us. We've been comforted by so many friends along the way. But for me personally, I feel like I've just barely been hanging on.
"One day at a time" has been my theme.
And then that song.
It put it all back into correct perspective for me. Yes I do want to be tried by fire. If it means being refined and more like Jesus wants me to be. If it means my family is where we need to be for Him to work and teach and mature. YES! PLEASE!
Why did it take me almost 2 months to realize this? I don't know. But I tear up as I am reminded how much God loves me that He pursued me through these heavy weeks and brought me that song when I was ready to hear it and mean it.
I wasn't able to sing that line a week ago. But guess what? Over the last few days that is the song playing in my mind and I've even been able to say the words.
Lord, I sure don't like being tried and tested. I sure wish I could stay far away from the fire. But if that's what it takes for your glory to shine. Then I want it.
I realized this year that our supporters, the team who have financially kept us in South Sudan and Uganda now 14 years, have become our family. So as we drive around, living out of a red Honda Civic, we get to reunite with the dearest people on earth. Some we've known since high school, some we're related by blood, and some we're meeting for the first time face to face!
We know not everyone gets to halt everything and drive around the United States visiting all their loved ones. So we are trying to embrace the beautiful scenic road trips, picnics at rest stops, late night talks with friends and all that these travels entail.
Enjoy some of our highlights so far. As of today, June 4, we've made it as far west as Idaho where we will park for the weekend.
How to Make Missionaries Cry: Ask Them How Their Vacation is Going
by AMY MEDINA on JUNE 2, 2021
Imagine this scenario:
You get up at 5 am on a Sunday morning. You wake your groggy teenager, who protests loudly and grumpily enough to put everyone in the house in a bad mood. You rush around to get everyone out the door by 6 am so that you can make a two hour drive to arrive at church at 8. When you arrive, your five-year-old pitches a fit because he doesn’t remember this church and is scared to go to another new Sunday School. You hiss bribes and/or threats into his ear, because you are on display and need to make a good impression.
But you put on your happy face and start shaking hands with everyone in sight. You’ve visited this church before, so you remember a few names, but many more of them know you. You wrack your brain to recall names, jobs, children as 26 people greet you. You are ushered to the front row to be ready for your seven-minute presentation, which took you hours to tweak since you’ve never previously given one that is exactly seven minutes. After the service, you are taken to an adult fellowship class where you are asked to give a 35-minute presentation. During these presentations, you are expected to give a public account of how you spent your time and your money during the last three years.
After the service, a friendly face shakes your hand and asks you, “So, how is your vacation going?”
And you want to cry or howl or kick something.
Honestly, friends, this is one of the most demoralizing questions a missionary on home assignment ever gets. They know you mean well. You are probably thinking, You get to be away from the grind of ministry! You must be enjoying the advantages of home!
But what they hear is: Wow, you get a six month vacation every couple of years. Must be a pretty cushy life. And that’s discouraging. Because a home assignment is a far cry from a vacation.
This is what is important to know: Missionaries have two jobs. One job is the one you are familiar with–their cross-cultural ministry. The other job is to build and maintain the partnerships that keep them in that ministry.
Both jobs are incredibly important. A healthy missionary has a strong team of supporters behind them, and while overseas, maintaining those relationships is a part-time job. This looks like: Creating newsletters every month, sending out prayer requests weekly, maintaining a robust social media account, writing dozens of personalized thank you notes every year, answering supporters’ emails, buying gifts for supporters, and creating videos or filling out questionnaires, or joining in on Zoom calls. That’s on top of full-time ministry and navigating a cross-cultural life.
And when home assignment (or furlough, or deputation) rolls around, that’s when this second job kicks into their full-time job. Home assignment looks like: Speaking at a different church every Sunday, meetings every day, lots of phone calls and emails. Preparing presentations, because each church wants something different. Lots of time on the road traveling. Following partnership leads, initiating relationships, hosting dinners and dessert nights.
You won’t hear a lot of complaining. Missions must be a team effort by everyone in God’s Church, and missionaries feel incredibly privileged to be the ones that get sent out. Building those partnerships is vital and they are an incredible blessing that feeds the missionary’s soul.
But being on home assignment is a job, it is usually exhausting, and it is definitely not a vacation. In fact, many missionaries would say that coming stateside for home assignment is the part of their job that’s the hardest. Though it’s called “home assignment,” it doesn’t usually feel like home. The constant travel, feeling on display, and helping their kids navigate so much transition can be wearying. Missionaries often look forward to getting back to their lives overseas so that life won’t be so crazy! That means that when someone assumes they are on vacation, it’s disheartening.
So what should you say to a missionary on home assignment?
Hug them. Tell them something specific you enjoyed about their presentation. Mention something that stood out to you from one of their newsletters. Reassure them you are praying regularly for them. Ask them the non-spiritual questions.
And if you really want to make their day? How about, I hope you’re planning a vacation while you are on home assignment. Would you like to borrow our cabin for a few days?
Most of you know that we headed back to the States a few months early at the end of April to hopefully adopt a baby boy who was due to be born May 6. He was born healthy and safely but his mama changed her mind and decided to keep him. As you can imagine we've been a mix of feelings. So thankful this mama feels empowered to parent this precious boy but sad that we don't have a new little Fader in our family. We've also been very confused, asking ourselves why God would have us go through all those crazy months of wrapping life up in Uganda to come back early for no apparent reason? We know we can't always understand why God orchestrates and allows things in our lives - especially the hard stuff - so instead of trying to figure it out we are attempting to "make lemonade" or make the most of our situation.
1. We have so enjoyed this very precious month with two of Eli's siblings and their families - attending sports events, getting to know our nephews again, and living life with family we don't usually get to share this much time with.
2. And now we have decided to take this opportunity before settling back into our SC home, to travel around the country seeing supporters and friends while we're more flexible and only the 3 of us. Isaac, Evan and Joshua will join us in the States in early July when their school year finishes in Kenya.
We're so thankful to Eli's brother who is letting us use their van while we're in the States this year!
This is the road trip we're attempting over the course of 4 weeks! We'd love your prayers for safety on the roads and good catch up times with everyone we see along the way.
A cross country road trip wasn't exactly what we thought we'd be doing this month (since we thought we'd have a newborn) but we are trying to hold our hands open to whatever God has for us. I've been reading a book that is putting words to all my thoughts and feelings lately. It's called "It's Not Supposed to Be This Way" by Lysa Terkeurst. So this summer isn't turning out how we though it should or would. And we believe God is saying, "Not yet." But it's not over. We're waiting to see what He has in store.
Today I was hanging my two loads of laundry on the clothes line and it suddenly hit me that in 2 weeks I won't have to do that little chore any more! I'll get to use a dryer! That train of though led me dream about all of my favorite things that I'm looking forward to enjoying during our time back in the States.
#2 Amazing Parks - this is actually the one right by our house in South Carolina
#3 The neighborhood pool
#4 Libraries
#5 Our beautiful home in South Carolina
#6 Aldi and other wonderful grocery stores (clean and organized!)
#7 AIR CONDITIONING! Ya'll the heat is getting to this almost 40 year old!
And best of all...
Our family!!!!
And our church family, Hope Church in Columbia, SC
We leave Adjumani in only 10 days and fly to the States in 13 days!
Our teammate Tibarek challenged us in our prayer livess during our conference
Many of you know that we are finishing up this three year term on the field. We fly back to the States on the 26th of this month and will be living stateside for the rest of the year (through December). March was very full and April will be even crazier.
At the end of March Eli, Carson and I traveled to Kenya so Eli could take some important exams for his PhD and for a Spiritual Life Conference. The conference was a much needed time of rest and encouragement from the Lord and our teammates.
Carson and his friend Penny
Then on March 26 Isaac, Evan and Joshua finished their term at school and we were reunited as a family. We are so thankful to have this month together. Carson has really missed his brothers!
Carson couldn't be happier to have his brothers home
We have enjoyed some special family times while we're in the capital city. In addition we are getting dentil visits and medical check ups out of the way.
This coming week, after celebrating Easter with teammates here in the city, we will head home to Adjumani to wrap up things there. Please pray for us as we have a lot to manage (packing, handing over ministry to our Sudanese colleagues and saying goodbyes/"see you laters") while also enjoying quality time as a family.
For those of you who are interested in where we'll be and when in the States, this is all we know for now:
April 26-mid June: we'll be in Michigan awaiting the birth of a baby boy we hope to adopt.
Mid June: we hope to move back to our home in Columbia, SC and settle for the summer.
Once we're stateside we will figure out if we can travel around the country and try to set up times to meet with each of you!
Wait, haven't I had multiple blog posts with this same subject title: Changes Ahead!?
That's the very nature of being on adventure with God. You never know when He's going to change directions a little or bring a surprise in your path! I'm smiling as I write this because a month ago I never could have imagined what this month would hold!
On February 18th we got an email that changed the course of the next few months. Our adoption lawyers that we used for Carson's adoption knew we wanted to pursue another domestic adoption when we came back to the States later this summer so they reached out to us with a possible situation. Less than 24 hours later the expectant mama chose us to parent her baby!
The baby is due May 12, 2021 in the United States. As you can imagine we're in the midst of a crazy whirlwind booking flights back at the end of April, doing paperwork, and trying to finish our term well.
So this is what our next 2 months looks like. I'm sharing so you know how to pray!
March 13-27 We'll be in Kenya for a Spiritual Life Conference with our mission and for some exams Eli needs to take for his PhD program. We get to pick up Isaac, Evan & Josh up at school on the 27th and head home to Uganda with them.
April 1-23 We'll enjoy 3 weeks at home in Adjumani as a family. Also packing up for our 8 month home assignment.
April 24: Isaac, Evan and Joshua got special permission from their school to finish off their school year even though we'll be going back to the States.
April 25: Eli, Carson and I will fly to the States to wait for this new little baby to be born.
We are working on flights for Eli to fly back to Africa in July to pick up the boys from school and return in time for my little brother's wedding on July 24th. And then of course we need to move back into our Columbia, SC home in time for the boys to start school.
Many many details that need to be figured out but we are trying to just take one day at a time.
A HUGE answer to prayer is that Eli passed his defense of his proposal for his dissertation last night so we're super excited about that.
Last week I traveled to Kenya to take Isaac, Evan AND Joshua to Rift Valley Academy. After 9 months of being home and struggling through online school they were all really excited to be back on campus. Isaac and Evan dashed off immediately to see their friends and I helped get Joshua unpacked and settled in his new dorm.
Our goodbye was short but sweet. However when I got home to Eli and Carson and our large empty house, I felt their absence immensely. So much so that I've been in a funk all week. I keep telling myself that it's good to allow myself to feel all my feelings and take my time to adjust. My boys are so much on my mind that it gives me many many opportunities to pray for them. Even though I know Eli, Carson and I are exactly where we're supposed to be and Isaac, Evan and Joshua are exactly where they're supposed to be, it's still really hard.
The neighborhood kids seem to be having pity on us because they still come and flood our yard in the afternoons to jump on the trampoline or play badminton. Godfrey, one of our boys we sponsor, even rides around the house on the skateboard or sits and talks to me while I cook. It's still not the same though.
Carson asks about his brothers often and when we tried to video call Joshua last night, Carson wanted the phone all to himself. He didn't want Eli or I saying anything! In just the perfect time, the Lord brought us a new neighbor and their little girl, Danita is Carson's new best friend. I took this picture today. They were sitting in the box we use for the puppy's bed, reading books.
Somehow, maybe in an effort to stay busy, our calendar for the next few weeks filled up really quickly! Eli teaching a seminar today, tomorrow we team teach a Marriage Seminar and we teach another Marriage Seminar next weekend too. Eli's first batch of TEE students here in Uganda graduate on Feb 6 so we're also in the stages of planning the big celebration.
Please pray that we will have wisdom in how full to fill our plates. And pray for our family as we all adjust to this new normal for 2021, each in our own way.
