Beautifully In Over My Head

Our new neighborhood

It’s kind of surreal that I’m typing this new blog post from our new home in Adjumani. Today is day 12 that we’ve been here and we were just remarking as a family how much it already feels like home.  Ever since we’ve moved here, it’s felt like a really big deal. I think the reason is because when we last evacuated from South Sudan and knew in our hearts that for now that door was closed to us for ministry as a family, our future has been a big question mark. We spent most of our home assignment in the States praying, seeking advice, and dreaming together about all the possibilities. It was such a big decision and we felt that heaviness so many days and nights. We started out this year, 2018, with a month of very intentional prayer and fasting about our future. In May, Eli came to Northern Uganda and did a 10 day survey trip. By September we had moved to a temporary home in Gulu, Uganda and it took 3 months before we knew for sure where God was leading us and had found a house and purchased everything we needed to outfit that house.

And now here we are. 

Only a few days after moving in, I was hit with a flood of emotions. I tried to think of why I was feeling swamped by so many feelings and then I realized it was because we were finally here. Not only that but God gave us confirmations and encouragement since the very hour we landed in our new neighborhood. One of our neighbors who we call Muzee Michael (Muzee because he is an old man) came over to help us unload all our stuff and then before leaving he gathered us under the mango trees in our yard and opened up his Bible to two passages. He read from Gen 12 and Joshua 1. The first passage was about when God called Abraham to go far away to a land He was calling him to, saying He would bless him when he went. The 2^nd passage was about being strong and courageous. Don’t be discouraged for the Lord is with you and will not abandon you. Muzee Michael encouraged us to be strong and courageous no matter what difficulties come our way and then prayed for us as we settled in our new home. We’ve also had multiple visitors and pastors visit and when they pray for us, a phrase keeps popping up: “God has brought you here.” Those things have been such a comfort to us as we struggle through the challenges of getting settled in a new place, meeting new people, joining a new church, figuring out where to buy food and necessities, learning new ways to cook, adjusting to the heat, and trying to begin learning a difficult language.

Washing clothes with my little helper

As thrilled as I am to be here and as much as I am sure that we are exactly where God wants us to be, it hasn’t been easy. As the mom, I have my work cut out for me. Keeping a house clean in dry, dusty season because I have a crawling baby, trying to cook nutritious, tasty meals with what I can get here, washing clothes by hand, finding creative ways to cool Carson off, getting out to meet neighbors, and doing lots of hosting is a lot of work. It takes time to get in the groove. I keep trying to remind myself to cut myself some slack. I don’t have to be perfect at everything. And since we’ll be here for a while, we’ll have time to learn and do it all.

Yesterday I had had kind of a rough morning and was feeling so tired. As I was cooking lunch a song came on by Hillsong and a line kept running through my head – “beautifully in over my head”. The song talks about how it is a beautiful thing when we are "in over our head" because it’s then that we reach out for Jesus and He draws near to us. So yes, I’ll admit it. I’m definitely in over my head. But it’s a beautiful place to be and I’m trying to embrace it. I want to embrace what God wants to teach me but I’m also confident that there’s no where I’d rather be. 

Playing Uno with new friends

My simple spot on the back steps where I like to start my days with Jesus and coffee