On Saying Goodbye

Lots of processing going on in my heart these days. With graduation only a week away, the time has come to release these precious families to go back to their home towns and villages to continue in the ministry God has called each of them to. We have been here in Melut for 18 months and I never could have dreamed that we could love people so deeply in such a short period of time!

As a mother of a 5, 7 and 9 year old I have been praying about how to help my children through more goodbyes. I remember June 2012 when we first arrived in Melut and our boys were super shy with the 50 children who lived on campus. But it didn't take long before they joined the crew of boys who play from sunrise to sunset. Fishing, wrestling in the grass, swimming in the Nile, building things out of mud, planting their own vegetable gardens, building forts - you name it, they've done it!

We started talking with our boys about these upcoming goodbyes a few weeks ago. We told them about graduation and that it meant that their friends would be returning to their homes with their parents. I'm still not sure how to read boys' emotions. :) They seemed to just accept it and get back to playing. But I've noticed in the last week that my older two, but especially my oldest has been drawing back. He's been spending more time inside playing than being out with his friends. I have reminded him a few times that he should play with his friends as much as possible while they're here but he seemed to always come up with an excuse to stay inside (it was too hot, or his friends were teasing him, etc.)

Eli and I were talking about this the other night before bed and my husband had the great idea to plan a fun kids night on Friday night. I don't know where he gets this type of energy with how busy his weeks are but he moved forward and talked to all the parents on campus to get permission for the kids to watch a movie on the projector up in the school building and then for the boys to have a sleepover in the classroom! Mission accomplished. From our house I could hear laughing and squeals of fun for several hours. Finally around 10 pm the noise seemed to die down so I assumed Eli was getting them all in bed (I had a nice quiet night at home to myself.)

Then I heard a knock at the door. It was my oldest son saying he wanted to sleep at home. I asked him why. Then I asked if he was sure. I didn't want to push it too hard so I tucked him into bed. About 15 minutes later he came into my room and said he'd changed his mind and decided to go back up to join the sleepover. And then he burst into tears.

Mothers of MKs out there - I know you know that feeling of your mother's heart breaking. I gathered my big boy into my arms and rubbed his back and told him I understood how hard it was. Between sobs he asked, "Why do they have to go Mom? Why?" I encouraged him that God has always provided him with special friends everywhere we go. I reminded him of other difficult goodbyes he's had to say in the past. And I told him that I knew God would give him new friends. I held him until his crying subsided and then walked him to the door.

At 7 this morning I woke up to the sounds of all the boys laughing and goofing off around a campfire Eli built in the cool of the morning. They were back to having fun and I could hear my oldest son telling someone something in his beautifully pronounced Arabic. My heart swelled and in that moment I knew he was going to be alright.

The goodbyes will be hard during these next few weeks. Please pray for our family as we let go of these beautiful people who are so dear to us.

Family Picnic

Always my monkey

 With graduation a week from today, you can imagine how busy life is. But I'm so thankful we could get away as a family for a few hours this morning to our favorite picnic spot. The boys explored and climbed trees then we ate lunch and played a game of Ticket to Ride. I think that will fuel us for the week ahead.

More Baking Fun

Nyaguay, Adau, Eliza and I

Every now and then I pause to think about the differences of my life here in South Sudan and what it would be like were I back in the States. With the holiday season upon us, I would definitely be in baking mode but probably baking batches of cookies with my boys or on my own. I've noticed more this year than I have in years past that during the holiday season here, I am doing my baking with friends.

Last weekend I baked two cakes for our dear friend Eliza's son's birthday. Some of the boys at that party went home and told their mom about the cake and said they wanted it at their birthday too (this boy's birthday was on Wed.) I told Eliza I would be happy to show her friends how to bake cake so they could do it on their own in the future and even offer to bake cakes for other friends and neighbors. So on Wednesday afternoon the three ladies came over and we mixed up two cakes together and baked them in my oven. The ladies mixed up the third cake all on their own and it turned out just like the others! They were so excited with this new skill that they invited the boys and I to come later for the festivities.

This birthday party was one of the most meaningful birthday parties I've ever been to. The birthday boy was turning 6 and when his mother gave a welcome speech to all the guests she shared that she'd lost children before so she decided a few years back to have a special time of prayer and thanks to the Lord every year on her childrens' birthdays. It was a sweet time of singing, encouraging and speaking blessings over the family and birthday boy and then praying together. After the "service" we enjoyed cake, zalabia (doughnuts) and tea. I am thankful for the opportunity this has given us to build new friendships with women off campus.

Birthday Bash

Sunday, the birthday boy

This is Sunday, Eliza's son. Eliza is the amazing woman who helps our family in our home every week. She has worked with us since the very day after we arrived in Melut and she has been such a blessing, I cannot fully express what she means to me! This week she told me that her son's birthday was coming up and that he was requesting that I bake chocolate cake for his party. Today I baked two cakes and the boys and I went to deliver them and join in the festivities.

Eliza with "her boys"

These boys are ready to party!

Eliza made zalabia which are a kind of fried doughnut

Of course we had to pose for a few shots :)

No matter how long I live here, I am always amazed at our friends' hospitality. They welcome us with open arms as one of them. We are so deeply grateful.

Holiday Baking Anyone?

Look at all that cookie dough!

The holiday we at Gideon Theological College are celebrating, or at least preparing to celebrate, is GRADUATION! The graduation for our students who have worked so hard these four years earning their college degree has finally arrived. November 30th is Graduation Day so preparations have already begun on campus: song rehearsals, meetings, food/feast prep, campus cleaning, etc. Today a group of women from our church came to help bake a very large batch of khabiiz (special Sudanese cookies).

They used a special attachment on a meat grinder to form the design on the cookies.

My teammate Amie was trying her hand at cranking the cookies out

Another teammate, Karen, examined the finished work as it headed to the ovens outside.

Outside three different charcoal ovens had their coals stoked and ready. Each batch of cookies only took several minutes since it was so hot!

Serving with a smile

 These types of projects are always so much fun because the ladies joke around, tell stories and drink coffee while they work so it's really just a fun party!

A Highlight of the year for Bethany

 

I shared a few words before and after the film

 Tuesday was a very special day for the women here at Gideon Theological College in Melut, me included! It was the last of our Tuesday afternoon classes taught by Claire Meckler. For several semesters Claire taught a community health class and this semester she did a course on Healing the Wounds of Trauma. To bring the class to a close, we showed the Magdalena film, which is a version of the Jesus film but geared towards the women. Claire encouraged each woman to invite two friends from off campus to come. We had a great turnout.

To surprise and thank Claire for all she's done, the women composed two special songs to sing for her as a farewell (Claire is heading on home assignment in a few weeks.) They also included Karen in the songs who is also leaving next month.

 

 

The women put their money together to buy a nice gift for Claire

and a farewell gift for Karen

 

Mary, one of the student wives, shared briefly from Matthew 13:23, the parable of the seed that falls on good soil. She likened the group of women to good soil that will yield a good harvest.

 

 

After the program the women served juice, tea, and doughnuts to their friends who had come.

Julia looks pretty content with her doughnuts. :)

We praise the Lord for all the progress and growth we've seen in these ladies' lives. And now we prepare to send them out with their husbands to go back to their home churches and villages to minister to women there with the new knowledge they've gained.

Another Dear Friend Rejoicing in Heaven

Elizabeth William is now with Jesus
*Photo taken by Tohru Inoue

The very next day after I, Bethany, returned from my retreat in Bali, we received a phone call in Nairobi, Kenya that one of our students at Gideon Theological College, Elizabeth William, had passed away. About a month ago she traveled to Egypt for medical treatment due to heart problems. She unexpectedly had to undergo surgery for appendicitis and it must have been too much for her heart. None of us were there so it is hard not knowing exactly what took her life.

 

But as the picture depicts above - we know she is dancing and rejoicing in the presence of her Lord and Savior now. Our campus and community here are still very much in shock. Our family hurried to get back to Melut and we made it in time for Elizabeth's funeral. She left behind 8 children and her husband John. Please pray for their whole family. Elizabeth was one of those extraordinary women that you knew from the time you met her that she was amazing and God was using her in a BIG way. We don't understand why she had to leave us at a young age of 47 but we trust that God is with us, comforting us and leading us forward.

 

 

With only four weeks until graduation here at GTC, this has been very hard on the students. The college cancelled classes for a whole week and resumed today, October 28th. Please also pray for them as they are missing their classmate and are reminded of her absence every day when they see her empty chair and desk. Pray that they will finish strong.

Catch up on October

My small group at the retreat

After a very full 5 months here in Melut, I (Bethany) was blessed with the opportunity to fly to Bali, Indonesia for a Thrive Women's Retreat. I never would have traveled so far for a conference but one of my best friends serves in Indonesia and we met up a few days before the retreat to spend a few special days together - just the two of us. With our husbands holding the fort down with our kids at home, we walked along the beach, talked,  drank Starbucks, shopped, talked, lounged by the pool, and talked some more. :)
    We also opened our hearts to the Lord for reflection, processing, and healing. It was just what both of us needed.

Nan and I drinking Starbucks on the beach

I was excited about McDonalds

After 9 days away I flew back to Nairobi, Kenya where Eli and the boys had flown a week previously. We enjoyed four days as a family and re-supplied to return to Melut. We arrived to a difficult situation on campus but we are so thankful for the rest and refreshment God gave us during our two weeks away.

Looking back at September

The students gathered to send off a man who came to apply for the job of Principal.

 
September was quite a doozy. But on this first day of October, my heart is overflowing with thanks for God's Great Faithfulness to our family and to the Bible college ministry going on here in Melut. I have been reminded that this is not a sprint. We press on, setting our pace, so as not to fall over in exhaustion but to finish the race God has marked out for us. Finishing seems a long way off so we plod on...
       This month started off the birth of another baby to one of our students. The labor was full of challenges due to the mother's high blood pressure and grim state of our hospital in town. We praise the Lord for a healthy baby named after Claire, our teammate who is a nurse and literally saved the mother's life that day!
     This month we also continued the process of searching for a new Principal for the college. Several men have come to Melut in person to fill out applications and have a casual interview with Jamie and Eli (see picture above.) It has been a roller coaster ride but we are hopeful October is the month we will finally have a new Principal. It has now been 4 months since our beloved Principal Philip Eisa went to be with Jesus.
     Another highlight of September was a visit by two lovely ladies on our SIM team from Kenya. Their mission was to encourage our team. It was a very special time.

Quite the playground!

Meanwhile our boys are doing great. They continue to enjoy homeschooling and playing outside with their friends as long as there is daylight! Last week a storm blew over our large tree in front of our house so it has become their new playground.

 

 

 

A joy to this lady's heart has been eating from our garden. My garden wasn't super successful this year but we have been enjoying cucumbers, spinach and now squash and even a few carrots!

 

Homeschooling in South Sudan

Teaching my youngest how to read

Back in 2007 when we were preparing to come to Sudan and I had a 2 year old and a baby, friends would ask me what we're going to do about the schooling of our children. Our organization also forewarned us that there were no schooling options for our children besides teaching them ourselves at home. Being a teacher myself I was excited about the idea of homeschooling when the time came.

Fast forward 6 years. Now I have a 3rd grader, a 2nd grader and a kindergartener. I live in kind of a remote place with no local library, poor internet connection, heat, and many many distractions. But...I believe this is the IDEAL place to homeschool and I believe my children are getting an incredible education that I would not trade for the world!

Making our own paints with egg and dye in art class

Up until this year I have been teaching my kids on my own, using my own ideas and creativity - which isn't that great. :) This year God has given our family a gift - other families with children who are also homeschooling. Though we each have our own curriculum and do most of our school in our own homes, we have started doing fun classes together as a group. It is soooooo much fun.

Math is more fun together

My teammate, Amie Cross, also taught a fun music class where our children got to learn the different music notes and how to read music. They practiced with tin whistles and a recorder and 6 weeks later could all play "Mary Had a Little Lamb".

Just this last week, our member care teammate came to visit and bring refreshment and encouragement to our team. One of the fun things she did with our children was a 2 hour class on ocean animals. They loved it!

*photo taken by Jonathan Cross

Last weekend, 6 weeks after starting our classes together, we had a special presentation for the rest of our team. The program began with the kiddos playing their much practiced piece: Mary Had a Little Lamb, followed by speeches by everyone, a few songs, and finally a giant potluck complete with two different cakes!!! These children's performances were just precious. Topics of speeches ranged from bats, natural pesticides you can make at home, a pet, and the Code of Knights.

I'm not sure what the Lord has in store for my children's educational needs in the future. But I am so grateful and content with the opportunity they have at this age to live on the Nile River, get school done in 3 hours, learn how to speak Arabic, live in a very different culture and see first hand what it means to live your life as a light for Jesus.

Delights of Gardening

My first successful sunflowers

My favorite thing about this time of year (the rainy season) is experimenting and growing new things in this land on the Nile River. Since we just moved into our brand new house in April, it's been very fun to plant flowers around the house, a vegetable patch in the front, and a small garden behind the house. Not only do I love to see things grow but I actually enjoy weeding. I like to get down on my hands and knees and think and pray as I pull out weeds and beautify my garden. It's so rewarding!

Josh hiding in the midst of our flowers at the front of the house

We're getting a great cucumber crop this year

Our 1st watermelon - we had to pick it a little early since some grubs were already helping themselves to it!

God's Hand in a Miraculous Birth this week

GTC's newest baby

This last Wednesday another student's wife went into labor. This time we were worried about complications because she went into labor a month earlier than she’d calculated and she’s had very high blood pressure during her pregnancy. Claire, our teammate who is a nurse,  took her to the hospital around 10 am on Wednesday. A few other women on campus and I joined them at the hospital and spent most of the day assisting Claire and being there for Miriam (the laboring mother.) Honestly my emotions are still numb from everything that took place that day. I have been traumatized by the state of our hospital here and have decided NEVER to take any member of my family there. Miriam delivered a baby girl around 3:30 pm and honestly, we almost lost her. Her blood pressure shot so high she started convulsing and then went unconscious. While my teammate Amie held the newborn baby, Claire and I gently talked to Miriam (Claire in English and me translating into Arabic.) At one point Claire turned to me and said, “We’re losing her. PRAY!” Less than a minute later we started coaxing her, “Miriam, if you can hear my voice, try to open your eyes.” I guess the drug they gave her for her blood pressure made her lose her muscle strength so she was very drowsy and couldn’t move. I cannot tell you the utter joy and awe I had for God at the moment her beautiful eyes fluttered open!

    Fast forward to today, Friday. Little Baby Claire (named after her amazing nurse!!!) is doing great. She showed some signs of infection (or so the Sudanese staff thought) so they’ve been keeping them at the hospital. We’ve made many trips back and forth taking food, taking her other five children to meet their new sister, and this afternoon carting gallons of hot water so she could have a nice hot bath. I won’t bore you with the list of things you have to bring for your hospital stay. Basically, just pack everything. All they provide is a bed. Period. We are all looking forward to hopefully bringing Miriam and baby Claire back to campus tomorrow.

   

Miriam and Baby Claire

A new friend

This young mother also arrived at the hospital on Wednesday morning with a 2 week old baby who was diagnosed with malaria. Over the last few days we got to know her a bit. The other women in the maternity ward loved watching and listening to the khawadjas (foreigners) as we loved on Miriam.

As you read this blog please also pray for one last student wife who is due any day. Her name is Rhoda and since the last 2 labors have been quite traumatic she is nervous. Pray for Claire to recuperate from her long 36 hour stay at the hospital with Miriam and baby so she'll be ready to help with Rhoda's delivery whenever that may be.