Thursday, February 24, 2011

A Change in my Spirit (written by Bethany)

I need to testify about what God has been doing in my heart this past week. When we returned to South Carolina after 10 weeks of traveling and the task of packing up our house and planning for three more years in Sudan loomed large ahead of me, I felt completely overwhelmed and unable to handle the emotions and stress. But in God's amazing love, He showed me something life -changing in my devotions one morning. I was reading about the Hebrews' grumbling in the book of Numbers because they were tired of eating manna and wanted the tasty fish and vegetables they'd enjoyed in Egypt. They wanted good food more than what God was providing for them.
Something struck me. I realized that I have a god in my life too - something I want more than anything else! That god is stability and comfort. Through all the changes and transitions in the past decade of my life - transferring colleges, getting married, moving for seminary, heading overseas and going back and forth between Uganda, Sudan, and Kenya over a period of 3 years and then recently, the weeks of traveling across the United States, living out of our suitcase and staying in many different homes - I've developed a deep craving for stability.
Once I recognized this "god" in my life, I realized 2 things:
1. Life in Sudan is the opposite of comfort and stability.
2. If I want to experience the fullness of all God has for me, I must make a tough decision. Will I let go of comfort and stability in order to follow the Holy Spirit to spiritual abundance?
3. Rest assured, God's plan will be better suited to my desires than anything I can dream up for myself.
That morning, I prayed a simple prayer. I asked the Lord to forgive me for getting hung up on myself and my desire for something more than Him. I asked Him to help me let go and handle my life which is brimming with change lately with calm and peace.
Do you know what? God has answered beyond what I could have asked! The peace and security I've felt in the midst of long to-do lists, packing, and planning, has seemed almost too good to be true. This is a beautiful work of the Holy Spirit in my life and I'm so thankful that I wanted to share it with all of you who follow what's happening in our lives and pray for us on a regular basis.
Please do continue to pray for us during these next 5 weeks as we have much to do and have been battling with sickness going around in our family.

12 comments:

Kristie Cooper said...

:) Thank you so much sharing. Amen to that! A great reminder for us all!

Leslie and Thomas said...

Your post was very encouraging to me. Thanks for sharing. :) ~ Leslie

smunoz0329 said...

Awesome Bethany:) Iam happy to hear that you are once again excited to return to Sudan and strong and obident to what the Lord has called you to do.:) All of us what that comfortyou are sharing, but not all of us is willing to let go! Iam praying for you my dear friend

Melanie said...

Bethany, I could have written this exact same post, but with success and achievement replacing security. Surrendering is the ultimate cure, but it can be a tough pill to swallow. Continued prayers, friend.

Seth and Anya said...

I have tears in my eyes reading this Bethany!!! God is so good to give you the peace and comfort you needed! I will continue to pray for you and all the boys!!! ;) Thanks for the encouragement! Praise God!

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comfort you needed! I will continue to pray for you and all the boys!!! ;) Thanks for the encouragement! Praise God!

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cats said...

Thanks for the encouragement! Praise

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what that comfortyou are sharing, but not all of us is willing to let go! Iam praying for you my dear friend